Bloggables: December 2009

I am what I am!I can’t be who I want to be!

Why oh why do many men continue to identify themselves as Bisexual when they have not been with the opposite sex in many years, and express they have no desire to be with a female, but continue identifying as bisexual.

So Why Identify as Bisexual instead of Gay?

What do you think?

Why does this behavior exist?

Is it more socially acceptable to identify as Bisexual? Is it ones way of staying connected to the heterosexual community? Only you can answer that question for yourself.

(Why ID at all)

Maybe it is easier to lie to ones self; making it easier to lie to those around you!

(Why ID at all)

In this age of sexual openness why keep up the lie, and give the people around you the misconception of being something you no longer are?

(Why ID at all)

I do this much the sigma’s, and discriminations that are attached to identifying yourself as Gay can be too much to some to deal with, and saying I am Bi sexual is might be more socially acceptable. Is it really? I guess that would depend on who you are trying to gain the acceptance of. Some are totally okay with the choices others make for their own lives, and then you have those who have a one track minded way of thinking. They are such unfortunates! I have very strong feeling about those people because they totally take away the chance of not only getting to know a good person, but they also make other feel uncomfortable about themselves. They say things like “That is nasty” or “You are going to burn in hell”, and my person favorite “The bible says man is made to be with a woman” When they say that one I take great pleasure in asking if God himself told you that. Of course they say no so I tell them to let me know when get the official word from God himself. Until that time please don’t tell me about the bible and what was meant according to God. The bible was written by man, and it is man that interprets it based on their own need to manipulate the minds of others.

The ones I am most disturbed by are Gay who feels they have an obligation to out those who are not yet ready to come out. They will have sex with a bi-sexual man, a closeted man, or a man on the down low, and spread the word. They tell their friends who tell the next one until it gets back to the dudes girlfriend, family, home boys, and co workers. That is just wrong! So I can’t put all of the blame of ignorance, sigmas, and discriminations totally on the heterosexual community. We play a vital role in this as well. We are help to stigmatize our kind, because we are sending the wrong message to the greater community. When we out others who are not ready to come out we hurt the chances of them becoming comfortable with the idea of being Gay, and just because we have found our level of comfort with ourselves doesn’t mean other have or should have the same comfort. Everybody has their own process, and must be granted the right to make their own choices. We have to let them come out when it is right the time for them, and not when we think it is the right time.

There is one area where I think it should be all about the person, and he should be given much room to be selfish, self centered and self serving. (I know I said the same thing 3 times, but it needed to be repeated). We should not empower ourselves to make that decision for them or try to force them in out into the open. When we do that we only succeed in pushing them not only further into the closet, but right into the arms of females. We take away the possibility of them ever embracing the lifestyle of a Gay man. Is that what we want? So be patient, and it may happen one day. We have to create an environment that is patient, loving, and accepting. I personal tell a man who struggles with their sexuality that it is okay to stay confined, and in a shell. When you are ready to come out of your shell you will find a wealth of love just waiting for you. At times I don’t always think I’m being honest, but I am showing the best parts of our community. Even though I know not everyone in our Gay community is the greatest of people. I won’t peg everyone as sneaky, conniving, and manipulative, but I am honest enough to say those type of people do exist in our community.

People need to keep in mind that a man who has these feelings may never come out, and it is more comfortable to live a double life. I believe it is not an honest way to live but it is what it is, and we can either accept it or not, but we don’t have the right force another to do anything they are not ready to do for themselves. It is our responsibility to give them support and help them along with their personal process as they see fit to allow our assistance. Nothing more, and nothing less!

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The OMA’s was a great event, and I had a wonderful time! I was not only an observer, and I was a presenter as well. I always have a great time whenever I attend an event at Webster Hall located in the fabulous East Village at 125 East 11^th Street. From the Red Carpet to the Pre-show to the Gala hosted by Rodney Chester of Noah’s Arc, and Kate Clinton an out comedienne , and right down to the after party at the Upscale Grace Hotel at 125 West 45^th Street

So many people lined up to walk the Red Carpet, and as a member of Gay Media now with 5 Media outlets, and a Youtube show in the works I was blessed to be a part of seeing GLBT music artist of many genre’s. Even though I knew these artists exist I have never had the opportunity to meet, and see them in person. Some I was to have met, but many I didn’t get that chance to make a formal introduction. This is just the start, and I am sure I will meet more and more of them in the future. I was not sure if I was allowing the Beautiful Boyz of Prides World Podcast Show (The Pride Cast Show) to come back for 3^rd season, but after the OMA’s it was clear to me the show must continue. I am needed, and still work to do! The Work I have been doing for some time now must not end. I have to continue to support the out artist where ever Possible. So far I have only been exposed to mostly the Hip Hop artist, and enjoy playing their music on my show. I do play the tracks of Jesse O, Nohjj, and a few other artists of different genres. After all my show is based on balance! In the third season I seek to move away from mainstream music, and re-format my show to support all The Out artists in the genres I feature. The Homo Hop Monday show is already all out, but my pop, R&B, and weekend show needs more out artist to make my vision a reality. Not so much the weekend show because I feel house/techno music is Gay anyway. My disco show will remain unchanged after all was not the Gay culture built around disco, or we can even say the foundation of our joy of music started there.

The Pre show was great too! What way to kick off an event this big. Many of socialites and friends came out in support of the OMA’s and packed the house. This area of Webster Hall used for this portion of the show was the party hall I’m sure that’s used for smaller partis that not so small. The room was packed! When the pre show started there were technical difficulties. No microphone, but these things are to be expected at events this big. Once that issue was resolved the hosts were able to speak & be heard, but prior to getting the mic I was afraid for the voices of our hosts. I will say I thought they did magnificent job, and I was engage as the awards were handed out. Some of the awards were present at the pre show, and the rest were handed out at the gala. I will tell you this baby. The sexy De Marco Majors, and co host Julie kept my attention. De Marco I must say as a Gay man really captured attention, and held it.

Wow! What a fine specimen of man. Of course the handsome former pro basket ball player and first out player in Bball was wearing much more at the awards. I however was compelled to show his sexy in these pictures I found o f him on line.

The costumes some wore were incredible! Here’s a couple of pictures of what I wish you were there for.

The Gala was yet again packed in the main auditorium of the club. I enjoyed Rodney Chester. I found him to be very engaging, but I wish I had seen him more throughout the night. So many out artists performed in their perspective genres, and I was all in as they played their guitars, beat on drums, tickle the keys on their keyboards, and worked the microphones. First the first time Out Hop was included in OMA’s, and it was a joy to see so many of the out Hip Hop artist turn out for this event. Many of them I was blessed enough to see throughout the night, but because the house was so packed I did not get to see them all. I did hear from my sources they were in the house. Sonny Lewis (Lou Bang), Bone Intell, King Jabbar, and Soce The Elemental Wizard. JR the self proclaimed King of Gay music who I had the honor of being his host was not only in the house, but preformed some of his track “I’m Addicted to Boys”. He shook his azz all over the stage (Joy). He shared the stage with Tori Fixx who I was within inches of but was not able to make a connection. I understand how stressing it is on a night like this, and many suffered from tunnel vision, and focused on getting done what they were there to do. Great job to you and the other hip hop artist who preformed, and made this a night to remember. I was blessed to be a presenter for outstanding Hip Hop/Rap Song alongside DJ Baker from the Doo Dirty Show. I was an honor to be a presenter, and I have to give much love to Deepa Soul who also preformed. Again I did not get to see her do her thing, but classy lady she has represented to me I am more than sure she turned it out. Damn my phobia of being in large crowned places for long periods of time had me running in and out for air. I know I need to over it, but it what it is.

For Outstanding hip Hop/Rapp Artist the nominees Are:

· Jasper James

· Baron

· Mack Mistress

· Soce, the Elemental Wizard

· Tori Fixx

And the winner for Outstanding Hip/Hop Artist is: Jasper James

Here is the Utube clip of the performance in the Hip Hop/Rapp Genre. I was how ever surprised that no NYC based Out Hip Hop artist preformed on that stage. Why was NYC artist not representing the host city of the Out Music Awards? Hmmmmmmmmmm!

The high light of the night for me was meeting two legends. Willie Ninja, and Kevin Aviance. Kevin who was there to accept the life time achievement award was his forever entertaining self. I am sad to say I did not get to see him accept his award, but I did have the pleasure of seeing, and chatting with him before the Red Carpet when he arrived which I was already there escorting JR to the sound check. I was also blessed to have a moment with him at the after party as he was all dolled up, and got a photo op shot by Dex Star G who has not posted the pictures on his blog yet. Here is one did get before Kevin got into costume.

Another big high light was meeting certain member from Vogue Evolution. I’ve been trying to get an interview with them for some time shortly after their banner fell from the stage of “American Best Dance Crew” I was so not happy with that or Lil Mama’s disrespect of the transgendered lead member Naomi. I have direct contact with their manager, and will be trying to get interview to share them with all of you. I love when my people break ground for us

To top off the night the after party at the Grace Hotel was really nice too and I love the company I was in. Because of a miscommunication at Webster Hall when it came to the open bar the music academy more than made up for it with the free vodka at the after party. Baby I was done by the third drink!

Logo filmed this event, and I will be looking forward to seeing how they covered this event. I can’t help but to feel Hip Hop will be edited out all together, but Need not project on what I don’t yet know. Even if not I was still bless to be a part of this blessed event.

Special acknowledgements to: Tammy Peay, and Lawrence Pinckney (Nubian Dreams Cruise). Much love to Dwight and most of his cast (Christopher Street TV), Maurice Runea & Romeo (The Show), Nathan 7, Nathan James, Taylor Siluwe, JoJo who escorted me to this event, Eric Joppy, E.J. Parker. Shout out to those who won tickets as a result listening to my show. Big up’s to Waddie Grant, Diedra T. Meredith (Deepa Soul), and the entire Out Music Academy.

I'd like to thanks the Out Music Academy for allowing me to be part of this festive event, and I am looking forward to being a part of it next year.

On a finale note here’s how you can hit me up with the links below, and be sure to listen to Monday’s Homo Hop Mondays for audio Bloggables.

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