Internalize Homophobia

Internalize Homophobia

Now this is one scary topic if I do say so myself! It would require us to look deep inside yourself and determine if we hate or have a strong dislike for you own people or even yourselves for that matter. I know I have a strong dislike for some people, their behavior, how they represent themselves, how they come off to the not only the Gay community, but how they help the perception of the general population towards Gays as something negative.

I find it interesting how a man can love other men, and still have dislike for what he represents, but something about him. Still have sexual relations with him. As a matter of fact how can you love another if you don’t first have love for yourself? Wasn’t it said that those who judge others are really having a reflection of self. Not in all cases!

I think every Gay person in the world can find something they don’t like about being Gay. It might be within themselves, or outwardly about others of our community.

The dislike can range from social behaviors all the way to jealousy. And beyond. I know for me I really don’t like the way my people dog each other, or have not the slightest clue on how to stand together as one united front, and work effectively with one another to accomplish our common goals which is to gain the equality we rightfully deserve. How can we get this done without first loving yourself thus allowing you to love others, thus allowing all to love the community they are a part of. We can stand together, and get the job done if learn to embrace who we truly are. Remember a divided community is a defeated community.

The part that sucks to me the most is it is bad enough that we have much of the world against us, but to be against ourselves at times is too much even for me the bear. Gay men not liking to be around other gay men, and the same for some Gay women, or women not wanted gay men in their space, and the other way around. Too many bridge, and gaps between the Gay & Lesbian communities, which in my opinion is the same community! See much of the community is not fighting for our equality, and not enough of our own people are standing together to affect change in the general society. Even though we have advanced in our mission on some levels much more is need to be done to get us to where we need to be. Just a few can’t get the job done, and it will take the power of our entire community for that to happen. There is power in number!

We have the closeted Gays who don’t want no others to know they like others of the same gender, and we have others who are on the down low, and would rather put up a smoke screen to fool others so they don’t see who they really are. So they keep up this phony double life, and have these in the light relationships as heterosexuals out in the open in the daytime, and under the cover of night, in the shadows have that secret live that involves others of the same gender. Who are they kidding? Surely no me! They are only fooling themselves, and would enjoy the freedom of walking in the light if they only try to open their mind to the possibility of freeing themselves from the prison they have built around them.

With all that we might not like about ourselves, our community there is something that makes us stay within it. That could be something as simple as the beauty of the male/female physical form, complexion of skin, the variety of cultures could be a liking, or the comfort of being around other who lives & loves as you do. The possibilities are without limits! I strongly believe much more can be said about what we like about our community as opposed to the negative things we don’t like.

How do we combat internalized homophobia? We don’t! You do! How do you combat it? The Answer is quite simple! Show love to yourself first, and then express that love you have for yourself outwardly for all to see. What would that accomplish? Nothing directly, or everything! Point is when a person sees, gets to know you, or knows you their exposed to a person who loves themselves, and that love shows. In your actions, behaviors, and the way you treat the people around you. Like myself People look at the Pride I have in my self & my Sexual orientation, and they say to themselves I wish I had that kind of Pride for myself & my community.

In the words of the late, great Dr Martin Luther King Jr. Free at, free at last thanks God almighty I am free at last. I live for the day that rains true for our community

What more can I say about internalized homophobia? There is no shame in being who you are. God gave you the ability to choose what you like, and whom you wish to love. Don’t let the stigmas, discrimination's, and stereotypes stop you from being all that you want to be.

4 Ever BBOP

(R.E.D.) Reversed Erectile Dysfunction

Reversed Erectile Dysfunction

R.E.D.

What is R.E.D.? This means Reversed Erectile Dysfunction! For those of you who know what Erectile Dysfunction means you know it is a medical condition for those who either can get an erection, gets an erection and can’t maintain it for a long period of time. R.E.D. is the reversed condition where a person gets frequent, and long sustaining erections. You will not find this condition listed in any medical journals, and you won’t be diagnosed with it by your doctor; or medical professional. This is a condition which I have, and felt the need to put a name to it. This condition to my belief has not bed studied like E.D.

E.D. has been studied deeply, and the science industry has developed medications to combat this problem by increasing blood flow the penile section of the body. Viagra, and celerus is a couple of the treatments designed to treat this issue. For some it has been very effective, and for other it has not. This leads me to believe that it is physiological for some, and a serious medical condition for others.

Many things can be the cause of E.D. lack of interest in a person on a physical level, some kind of blockage, or medication one might be taking like blood pressure, heart, or HIV med’s. Only way to know almost for sure is to consult with your medical primary care professional. One person even suggested that over masturbation might also be a cause of this problem. Lastly studies have shown this condition affects people of all ages, but mostly middle to older aged men. Usually E.D. is the result of an underlining condition. You must see your primary care provider to aid you in discovering why this condition exists, and what is the best treatment to correct this problem.

R.E.D. is a condition, which I am surprised, has not been studied more in men. I would guess not enough men have complained about it so therefore it does not exist. At least not enough to launch a study into it! Most men who have this issue probably feel blessed they can get an erection that is long lasting, and as a top I have never had a bottom who has complain about it with the exception of those who can’t handle being pounded for hours.

For me personally it can be an annoyance, but I have found way of either covering it up by wearing my work shirts on the outside of my pants, or going to the tearoom & putting porn on my phone or Ipod, and choking my chicken until I climax. That usually takes care of the problem at least for the moment. I have been to my primary care provider, and she said, “I don’t see any underlining condition that could be causing it. You are just a horny homo!”

If you have R.E.D. or knows of someone who has this issue please hit me up, and let me know is the experience like for you or the one(s) you know of with this issue.

The Pride Cast Show
www.bbops_world_podcast.podomatic.com

MANDATORY FOR MEMBERSHIP!!!
Age, and gender must be provided in profile, or commented. There will be no exceptions!

PRIDE NETWORK GROUPS
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beautifulboyzofpride
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Pridewritersofthehoods
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Prideboyz4boyzNYC

Thanks!
BBOP

Pride Network & Show

http://www.facebook.com/BBOP
http://www.myspace.com/bbop01

http://twitter.com/Pridecastshow
http://www.cg11375@aol.com

Kissing Sons

Kissing Sons

What is a kissing son?

A kissing son is someone who usually is not your biological off spring, and if it is that is just down right nasty, and wrong in my opinion. A true kissing son is one who is considerably younger than yourself, and looks up to you as a father figure within the SGL community. As a Daddy figure to this younger person you take on the responsibility of aiding the biological parents in raising him. You guide, protect, nurture them, and help them become productive member of our society. Only difference is a kissing son also has sexual relations with their adult daddy’s. Some may frown upon this kind of relationship, and other may support it! Point is as a young Gay person a daddy is better equipped to answer, and give guidance in areas foreign to that young person’s parent. Young people still need to be careful of those who are not trying to help them grow, and instead seek to exploit, use, and abuse them. Not everyone who smile, and has an honest face mean you the best. Beware!

When you have a kissing son it can sometimes be the best relationship that younger person has to help him grow into adulthood as a Gay man. The relationship can be equally as important to the daddy figure who seeks to guide, and influence the mind of the younger generation in a positive way. The morals of heterosexuals are different than those homosexuals. Are they? Point is if Hugh Heffner can have a mansion full of young bunnies hopping around him, and Demi Moore can have a younger husband, and it is not frowned on than why is it so debatable when it applies to SGL community. Point is everyone has an opinion, and has the right to express it as long as you respect my right to choose the path I walk on even if you don’t agree it; it is still my right.

Many times you will find a daddy that has many sons! That does not mean he is having sex with all of them. He might just be that daddy that love to guide the youth in the SGL community in an area where they have a void, and does not know how the approach their parent with their issues. These younger men might not be out of the closet, and has so many questions but unless their have an outlet to express themselves might become troubled. This is where it becomes dangerous! They might not get the guidance they need to be safe in the development of their sexuality. They may engage in risky sexual behavior which could lead to STD’s, or even HIV/AIDS. It could also lead to substance abuse. At worse case could become suicidal, and make attempts to take their own life. Homosexual development can at times be too much to handle. More often than I would like admit young people are force to keep these emotions locked inside, and might know of no other way the escape from their pain. The sigma’s and discrimination attached are a big cause in suicidal deaths in the SGL community.

Everyone has their own way of looking at this kind of a relationship, and it may or may not differ from one person to the next.

What is an appropriate age for having a relationship with a kissing son 17, 22, 32?

This is very hard question to answer and again is different for everyone, but I base it on the age of the old man. See if a 45 year old man is having these relations with someone who is half his age might not be wrong. Again it depends! If the 45 year old man is having a relationship someone less than half again might not be wrong. Now if the 45 year man is having relations with someone who is under the legal age of consent that is wrong, and is punishable by the law. A 45 year old who dates someone as young as 25 is acceptable in my opinion.

It has been said many times to me that “age is nothing but a number” Who told you that lie? Age is more than a number; it is point in time that in itself tells where you have been, and how much you have experienced in your life. An older man has had many experiences in his life. Many things not yet discovered by a younger person! Younger people still much to learn, grow, and experience. The older man should never try to take that away from the youth in an attempt to control them.
Who chases who?

Many times it is the younger person who seeks out the comfort of older gentlemen, but it is the older man who makes the decision whether or not to engage in this relationship. In some, but not all cases the older man like the company of younger men, and opens his heart, life, and sometimes even his bed to younger men. They are fresh and not tainted by the world. Curious and seeks answers to many questions not answer by the traditional family unit.

This is where an older man of the same community is vital. The experiences of the older man is looked at by the youth as a tool to learn from, and avoid many of the negative experiences they have heard of, or know of someone who has gone through rough patches. (I have heard of X, Y & Z, and would not want that to happen to me)

As a younger person at one point in my life sought an older man for the reasons listed above. This was essential to my grown and development, and helped me become the man I am today. Somewhere along the line I became the older men I use to date. Now I am sought out by the younger generation and when I ask what is it about older men you are attracted to the answer is always the same. The very same question was asked of me, and again the answer was the same. (Has time come full circle?) I feel for me it was, and I enjoy not only the company of a younger man less than half my age, but enjoy guiding the lives of a younger person in areas where I was not guided by my traditional family, but was by an older gentlemen who has experienced many of the same issues at some point in their own lives.

So if you see this situation, and know there is no intention of exploitation. Take a step back and look at the entire picture. Don’t be so fast to make hasty judgments. Keep in mind that what is best for the young might not be what most would consider traditional values. The most important value is that younger learns to become responsible and productive members of our society. When that younger person is not getting all of what is need to grow in the house hold than he may seek out the guidance of an older person to fill the gap. He may in fact thrive as a result of it.

By BBOP

White Party Moon Light Cruise was Black

On August 1st I attended the White Party Moon Light Cruise on board the Spirit of New York Yacht. The yacht was the high light of this adventure, and I enjoyed being on the Hudson til the wee hours of the morning. I enjoyed the exotic dancers, and the other who preformed. baron, Dy'ari, Alyson William the first female to sign with Death Jam Records. I can't leave out host Tammy Phay who was a great talent, and co host DJ baker from Da Doo Dirty Show who moderated the best dressed in white with hints of silver & gold competition. James Saunders & Laurence Pinckney were the organizers. Laurence was not pleased by the turn out & felt their shout have more people.Now I am not one to complain or talk badly about events which I promote, but this time I will make an exception. Although this event on the surface had all of the ingredients of a great night it was what went on below the surface that left me feeling flat & confused as to whether I will put so much of my time & energy into another event for them. I think I will, but I must make sure my comp ticket, and all that goes with it is in place before putting it out there, and doing the share thing which I am so well known for.First off I was treated as a scrub by the attendants who where keeping security at the VIP level. After promoting so hard for this event my passage to this section should have been cleared, or my general admission upgraded. The upgrade would have only amounted to a seat on the upper level, and nothing more. Laurence did grant a special entry band to the VIP section, but it for entry only. I found the VIP ticket only included a gift bag & a seat on the upper level. VIP tickets were $100.00, and came with no open bar. WTF! For that much money 1 would think drinks would be part of the VIP package. Not! Drinks were not cheap either. The buffet was tasty!

I was given a gift bag by one person distributing them but will remain unnamed. Sweet, sexy, blk man with all the right stats. The bag contained a few cute things, but the best item was the CD's of some of the nights performers. I will be looking forward to pumping it on the Pride Cast Show.
www.bbops_world_podcast.podomatic.com.

The Best Dressed Competition was by far the most disappointing part of the adventure. I put a lot of energy & thought into my outfit only to find out winners were predetermined, and that was not kewl. What was the point of have a runway show if you already know who won before the so called competition started. WTF! The judging was nothing short of a joke. It was suppose to be on the audience to choose, but in a minute came up with choices not made by audience. Rather chosen by some obvious blind person, or one's with limited vision, or at best a very poor sense of style. Winners were was older woman which seemed me like a pity win, and the 2 sailor girls, but in my opinion were by no stretch of the imagination was the best dressed. If I saw 1 I saw 100 people on this trip that better dressed. What was it sailor girls & being being on a boat is what constitutes a winner? Would they have won if event was not on a boat? I think not!

Taking pictures was hard due to the fact I had to rely on ole faithful PDA, and not my digit camera. Thanks to Mr/Ms. Socialite breaking it by either not paying attention after taking a picture, and handing it back, or was it sabotage. Hmmmmmmmmm!

With every experience I learn more about people, and what their true intentions are. Sad I am either gullible or just too damning. I always try to see the good in people even after they had done me wrong in the past.

Can't say I did not enjoy myself on some level, but I know my enjoyment could & should have been better. We will see what pops off in the future!

Big ups to all the boyz in attendance, and good to see the regulars as always DJ, EJP, Rashawn, baron is so sexy, Dexter, and any others not mention is a mere oversight.

Happy it is over & now on the next adventure, the next social networking event.

BBOP