Below the Equator

Wearing your pants below the equator can be hot, and sexy to some, but to others it is frown on big time. I am going to take this time to talk about this highly controversial issue.

For starters most people don’t even know where this behavior originated from, and I too at some have no clue, but like the look on some & not other. Prison is where it started! If you have ever been to prison you know the take your belt, and shoe laces away from you don’t get the idea to hang yourself as a means to an end. Not having on a belt cause the pants to sag of the azz, and the lower you sagged the more meaning it had behind the walls. If you wore your pant totally off your azz that meant you were looking for a husband, but all of the is debatable. Worn part way or fully off the azz it definitely give me a reason to look at your azz.

Many people in political positions of power have attempted to makes law that would make the cultural behavior illegal, and pose stiff punishments to those who are violation of this dress code. President Obama said it best! “I have better things to do than impose laws to make people wear the pants up, but on a personal level pull up your pants”. Your mothers, grandmothers don’t want to see your azz. I have to agree with him on some levels about this behavior, but I also have to play the devils advocate, and say it is a personal right for people to wear their pant in any way they wish. If you have a problem with see someone’s azz you have the choice to not look, but please don’t tell me how to wear my pants, what to do, or how to act. It is my choice, and I o as I wish.

What is the age that saggin pants becomes inappropriate? Again it a personal choice! In my opinion at my age I would not wear my pants below the equator, but I have seen many people my age and older who do this, and at a curtain age to me it does not look right. I think this a behavior that looks better on our youth than it does on an older man.

The reason I feel this is a youthful behavior is simply because we all at some point in our lives set out to make a statement that is original, and unique to that time. It is a cultural thing, and each generation tries to make it own contributions. I am not going to say what my generation contributed because that will affectively age me, and I have grown sensitive about my age in recent years.

As a Gay man I can appreciate when I see a younger man wearing their pants off their azz. There are lines that some cross that makes this code of dress less than flattering. Like seeing an old man do it, or someone that is over a curtain weight. Even though I respect their right to do this I sometimes wonder if they take a good look in the mirror before leaving out for the day. Maybe they do, and just don’t care how they look, or maybe they seek that kind of attention. I can’t imagine why they would do that but whatever works inside of their heads is fine with me. The ones that really make me laugh hard are those who sag & be wearing dingy/dirty drawz. I even have seen one guy who was sporting the latest in skid marks. What a fashion statement he was making.

One of the things I find interesting about saggin pants is seeing female following along this line of dress. I really have no opinion on this one, but I will say I find very few heterosexual females doing this, and more Lesbians joining this fashion craze. I guess anything that represents boyz behavior is the direction aggressive lesbians go. Whether right or wrong it does not solely belong to men, and they have the right to do this as well.

At the end of the day I really enjoy imagining what’s beyond those sagging pants. Could be an awful, or incredible sight to see. So continue to wear your pants below the equator, and allow me the pleasure to continue to look at that bump. This will allow me to continue to wonder what is beyond those falling pants.

Holla @ Cha Boi!

4 Ever BBOP

The Pride Cast Show
www.bbops_world_podcast.podomatic.com

MANDATORY FOR MEMBERSHIP!!!
Age, and gender must be provided in profile, or commented. There will be no exceptions!

PRIDE NETWORK GROUPS
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beautifulboyzofpride
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Pridewritersofthehoods
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Prideboyz4boyzNYC

Thanks!
BBOP

Pride Network & Show

http://www.facebook.com/BBOP
http://www.myspace.com/bbop01

http://twitter.com/Pridecastshow
http://www.cg11375@aol.com

http://bbops-bloggables.blogspot.com

Public Displays Of Affection

Public Displays Of Affection

(PDA)

How many times have you been out with your man, date, friends, and had the pleasure of seeing two people expressing their attraction for one another in a public domain?

Many times I have had to endure seeing this behavior within the heterosexual community. It has burned me up inside each time I see this display, and thought of my inability to share the same experiences with the one I am seeing at the time. The stigmas, discriminations, and personal beliefs that are attached are the blame. It frustrates the hell out of me that we can’t honor our significant other in the same way as heterosexuals do. Even the lesbian community has made more ground in that area. It was easy for them as most things are in that community. I am not saying it is all peaches, and roses, but they do have it much better than Gay men. Two female walk down the street walking hand and hand, and they are looked at as not much more than girlfriends, and most people doesn’t pay it a second mind. Beside what straight man do you know doesn’t at some point fantasize about some girl on girl action. Two females walking down the street hand and hand; show affection for one another might not be girlfriends. They might be lovers! If a girl touches another female bubs in the name of comparing cup size is acceptable, but you don’t see men grabbing each other jock straps comparing cup size. Even in straight clubs females are even free to dance without it being given another look. Point is the foundation has been laid for female where none has been laid for men.

No I am not trying to come off as a hater, or as Alfalfa from the Little Rascals as the president of the female haters club. I am just demonstrating the difference between the two.

As a Gay man will I ever see the day where I will too be free to express myself to another man without the looks, snickers, comments from people who do not have the ability to accept the life style of those that are different?

Men can these days display affection for one another outwardly, and in the open but these displays are localized to one area of our city, and one area of most big metropolitan cities. These areas are referred to as boyz towns, or the villages of those prospective cities. I have much respect for those who dare to go against the grain, and will display their feelings anywhere, and any time. I myself have not had a problem showing my affection any place, but I have had to deal the negative comments, and looks. I may have never had violence from those who hate what I am doing, but I do know of many who were not so lucky.

There is an absence of laws designed to protect us, and more than often where there are discrimination laws in place fall on the death ears of our police departments. In many cases they fall short due to the same stigmas, discriminations, and personal views as mentioned earlier.

What can we do to make sure our rights are being protected?

The truth is we can’t do much more than what is already being done, or can we? In order the keep the pressure on our politicians, and representatives we have come together as a united front, demonstrate, write letter, Demand we have justice for our victim, and bring home the point the we are people too, and should be protected just as anyone else is. We must the contributions we make to our society, force our representatives to fight for stiffer penalties for those who violate others rights, and demand we not be treated as substandard citizens. These actions will take the power of all of us, and this includes Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgenders, and even the Down Low. If we continue to fade into the background, hide in the shadows, and walk only under the cover of night we will never get our constitutional rights delivered.

Equality is written into the Constitution for all Americans, and should apply to all Americans in which equality is guaranteed under that very Constitution. It is written!

We can sit back and allow other to fight our fight for us, and than jump on the bandwagon after the battle is over, and we have finally won, or you can get involved, and let our battle really mean something to you. The battle is not just mine it belongs to you too.

The Pride Cast Show
www.bbops_world_podcast.podomatic.com

Thanks!
BBOP

Pride Network & Show

http://www.facebook.com/BBOP
http://www.myspace.com/bbop01

http://twitter.com/Pridecastshow
http://www.cg11375@aol.com

http://bbops-bloggables.blogspot.com

“Let’s Just Kiss and Say Goodbye”

“Let’s Just Kiss and Say Goodbye”

Saying it is over can be one of the hardest things to do, but when it is over it is over. What is the point of trying to hold on to something that is no longer there? Sometime it is better to have loved, and lost than to have never loved at all. Imagine if you were one who never knew what is like to ever have true love expressed to you, and hear about so many people who have that love, and took it for granted.

I have loved and have been loved on some levels but never totally. When it came time to say it is over, and neither of us have anything left to give to the other on a physical or emotional level than it is time to put an end to what is inevitable. I never could understand why people stay together when no real relationship even exist any longer. What I hear the most is two people staying together for economical reasons, but to me that is no reason to stay in a relationship that is not working. I feel it is a waste of time to continue. There are even times I feel people use that as an excuse to keep some kind of a hold of the “partner.” It can also be a control issue. One might be more financially stable that the other and that give a person people to control your decision. “You will never make it on your own, and you be back begging for what you have walked away from”. Many other things I am sure you can name that can be used to control the other and prevent them from leaving. At worse case it can be of a domestic violence issue that can keep one from leaving. This is programs, and org that can help you with that problem, and keep you safe.

Many things can be the cause of relationship ending. The biggest one is cheating, and many times one can be forgiven for their infidelity. Once a cheater always a cheater! That depends on how you think about it. Some may still see the good in a person, and that will give them reason to try hard to salvage what they have. That is until the next time it happens! The worse reason I have ever heard another give for staying in a relationship that no longer works is”I can’t do any better”. That is a self esteem issue that maybe so deeply embedded that one will have a hard time rising above that reduced opinion of ones self. In my opinion that will continue until you take back your power, and think of yourself on a higher level. “You are special, and worthy of another’s love” This what you must tell yourself over & over until you get it, and start to make changes in your life on a positive level.

Having friends, family and a positive network of support can be very instrumental in this process if you have the ability to reach and ask for help from your circle of support. This might be particularly hard if you are shameful about your situation, but if not your circle to guild you in a direction of grown into a greater, and better person than who. Remember your close circles of support will if nothing else tell your truth if they are true to the relationship you have with them.

When saying goodbye that I have had to do many times in my life I have used the typical statements many of us have used, and for some reason. Those statements have not change. I have yet to encounter anyone including myself that have come up with a truly original, and creative way of saying bye. “Maybe we can be friends”, “it is not you it is me”, or my particular favorite “I can only be a brother to you”, and my least favorite “It is all your fault, and you bought this on yourself”. There are so many more that I am sure you can think of. I really do prefer the direct approach, and in my attempt to be direct be gentle. Too often I have heard of those who are brutal, and will leave a person they once cared for totally destroyed, and broken. What is most harmful about the tactic is you have not only destroyed them, but also made it next to impossible for next man. The next man should not have to pay for every messed up thing that has occurred before him.

As for that kiss & say goodbye don’t do it, and definitely don’t ask for one more roll in the bed. It is viewed a desperate attempt to hold on. Just let it go! If he asks for just one more time you must be strong, and say no that will not help the situation.

What is next for you once it is finally over for good. Don’t jump into another relationship fast. Give yourself time to digest, and heal from the previous experience. Don’t isolate, and get all depressed. Rediscover yourself, and reevaluate what you want in your next relationship, and don’t settle anything less. Next man that captures your heart be upfront, and direct about what you seek. Bluntly ask the man if he can live up to it, and than without playing games with him test him on it. How do you test a man to if his answers are sincere, or if he is just feeding you a line to get in your yum yum. I have found the best way achieve this goal to not be so fast to jump into bed. Make him what a good amount of time that is to your liking, and if he is still there when you ready than it might be safe to give him a fair chance.

I might not be the foremost authority on relationship issue. I am not a specialist, or therapist. I merely write, and share those experiences I have been through, and those experiences from those I have encountered, and was fortunate to have share their situation, and seen it through their eyes.

Lastly there is nothing wrong with seeking professional help if you can not work through it on your own, and the crisis just too much to bear.

Thanks for taking the time to read this Bloggable, and I hope you got something out of it.

The Pride Cast Show
www.bbops_world_podcast.podomatic.com

Thanks!
BBOP

Pride Network & Show

http://www.facebook.com/BBOP
http://www.myspace.com/bbop01

http://twitter.com/Pridecastshow
http://www.cg11375@aol.com

http://bbops-bloggables.blogspot.com

Internalize Homophobia

Now this is one scary topic if I do say so myself! It would require us to look deep inside yourself and determine if we hate or have a strong dislike for you own people or even yourselves for that matter. I know I have a strong dislike for some people, their behavior, how they represent themselves, how they come off to the not only the Gay community, but how they help the perception of the general population towards Gays as something negative.

I find it interesting how a man can love other men, and still have dislike for what he represents, but something about him. Still have sexual relations with him. As a matter of fact how can you love another if you don’t first have love for yourself? Wasn’t it said that those who judge others are really having a reflection of self. Not in all cases!

I think every Gay person in the world can find something they don’t like about being Gay. It might be within themselves, or outwardly about others of our community.

The dislike can range from social behaviors all the way to jealousy. And beyond. I know for me I really don’t like the way my people dog each other, or have not the slightest clue on how to stand together as one united front, and work effectively with one another to accomplish our common goals which is to gain the equality we rightfully deserve. How can we get this done without first loving yourself thus allowing you to love others, thus allowing all to love the community they are a part of. We can stand together, and get the job done if learn to embrace who we truly are. Remember a divided community is a defeated community.

The part that sucks to me the most is it is bad enough that we have much of the world against us, but to be against ourselves at times is too much even for me the bear. Gay men not liking to be around other gay men, and the same for some Gay women, or women not wanted gay men in their space, and the other way around. Too many bridge, and gaps between the Gay & Lesbian communities, which in my opinion is the same community! See much of the community is not fighting for our equality, and not enough of our own people are standing together to affect change in the general society. Even though we have advanced in our mission on some levels much more is need to be done to get us to where we need to be. Just a few can’t get the job done, and it will take the power of our entire community for that to happen. There is power in number!

We have the closeted Gays who don’t want no others to know they like others of the same gender, and we have others who are on the down low, and would rather put up a smoke screen to fool others so they don’t see who they really are. So they keep up this phony double life, and have these in the light relationships as heterosexuals out in the open in the daytime, and under the cover of night, in the shadows have that secret live that involves others of the same gender. Who are they kidding? Surely no me! They are only fooling themselves, and would enjoy the freedom of walking in the light if they only try to open their mind to the possibility of freeing themselves from the prison they have built around them.

With all that we might not like about ourselves, our community there is something that makes us stay within it. That could be something as simple as the beauty of the male/female physical form, complexion of skin, the variety of cultures could be a liking, or the comfort of being around other who lives & loves as you do. The possibilities are without limits! I strongly believe much more can be said about what we like about our community as opposed to the negative things we don’t like.

How do we combat internalized homophobia? We don’t! You do! How do you combat it? The Answer is quite simple! Show love to yourself first, and then express that love you have for yourself outwardly for all to see. What would that accomplish? Nothing directly, or everything! Point is when a person sees, gets to know you, or knows you their exposed to a person who loves themselves, and that love shows. In your actions, behaviors, and the way you treat the people around you. Like myself People look at the Pride I have in my self & my Sexual orientation, and they say to themselves I wish I had that kind of Pride for myself & my community.

In the words of the late, great Dr Martin Luther King Jr. Free at, free at last thanks God almighty I am free at last. I live for the day that rains true for our community

What more can I say about internalized homophobia? There is no shame in being who you are. God gave you the ability to choose what you like, and whom you wish to love. Don’t let the stigmas, discrimination's, and stereotypes stop you from being all that you want to be.

4 Ever BBOP

(R.E.D.) Reversed Erectile Dysfunction

Reversed Erectile Dysfunction

R.E.D.

What is R.E.D.? This means Reversed Erectile Dysfunction! For those of you who know what Erectile Dysfunction means you know it is a medical condition for those who either can get an erection, gets an erection and can’t maintain it for a long period of time. R.E.D. is the reversed condition where a person gets frequent, and long sustaining erections. You will not find this condition listed in any medical journals, and you won’t be diagnosed with it by your doctor; or medical professional. This is a condition which I have, and felt the need to put a name to it. This condition to my belief has not bed studied like E.D.

E.D. has been studied deeply, and the science industry has developed medications to combat this problem by increasing blood flow the penile section of the body. Viagra, and celerus is a couple of the treatments designed to treat this issue. For some it has been very effective, and for other it has not. This leads me to believe that it is physiological for some, and a serious medical condition for others.

Many things can be the cause of E.D. lack of interest in a person on a physical level, some kind of blockage, or medication one might be taking like blood pressure, heart, or HIV med’s. Only way to know almost for sure is to consult with your medical primary care professional. One person even suggested that over masturbation might also be a cause of this problem. Lastly studies have shown this condition affects people of all ages, but mostly middle to older aged men. Usually E.D. is the result of an underlining condition. You must see your primary care provider to aid you in discovering why this condition exists, and what is the best treatment to correct this problem.

R.E.D. is a condition, which I am surprised, has not been studied more in men. I would guess not enough men have complained about it so therefore it does not exist. At least not enough to launch a study into it! Most men who have this issue probably feel blessed they can get an erection that is long lasting, and as a top I have never had a bottom who has complain about it with the exception of those who can’t handle being pounded for hours.

For me personally it can be an annoyance, but I have found way of either covering it up by wearing my work shirts on the outside of my pants, or going to the tearoom & putting porn on my phone or Ipod, and choking my chicken until I climax. That usually takes care of the problem at least for the moment. I have been to my primary care provider, and she said, “I don’t see any underlining condition that could be causing it. You are just a horny homo!”

If you have R.E.D. or knows of someone who has this issue please hit me up, and let me know is the experience like for you or the one(s) you know of with this issue.

The Pride Cast Show
www.bbops_world_podcast.podomatic.com

Thanks!
BBOP

Pride Network & Show

http://www.facebook.com/BBOP
http://www.myspace.com/bbop01

http://twitter.com/Pridecastshow
http://www.cg11375@aol.com

Kissing Sons

Kissing Sons

What is a kissing son?

A kissing son is someone who usually is not your biological off spring, and if it is that is just down right nasty, and wrong in my opinion. A true kissing son is one who is considerably younger than yourself, and looks up to you as a father figure within the SGL community. As a Daddy figure to this younger person you take on the responsibility of aiding the biological parents in raising him. You guide, protect, nurture them, and help them become productive member of our society. Only difference is a kissing son also has sexual relations with their adult daddy’s. Some may frown upon this kind of relationship, and other may support it! Point is as a young Gay person a daddy is better equipped to answer, and give guidance in areas foreign to that young person’s parent. Young people still need to be careful of those who are not trying to help them grow, and instead seek to exploit, use, and abuse them. Not everyone who smile, and has an honest face mean you the best. Beware!

When you have a kissing son it can sometimes be the best relationship that younger person has to help him grow into adulthood as a Gay man. The relationship can be equally as important to the daddy figure who seeks to guide, and influence the mind of the younger generation in a positive way. The morals of heterosexuals are different than those homosexuals. Are they? Point is if Hugh Heffner can have a mansion full of young bunnies hopping around him, and Demi Moore can have a younger husband, and it is not frowned on than why is it so debatable when it applies to SGL community. Point is everyone has an opinion, and has the right to express it as long as you respect my right to choose the path I walk on even if you don’t agree it; it is still my right.

Many times you will find a daddy that has many sons! That does not mean he is having sex with all of them. He might just be that daddy that love to guide the youth in the SGL community in an area where they have a void, and does not know how the approach their parent with their issues. These younger men might not be out of the closet, and has so many questions but unless their have an outlet to express themselves might become troubled. This is where it becomes dangerous! They might not get the guidance they need to be safe in the development of their sexuality. They may engage in risky sexual behavior which could lead to STD’s, or even HIV/AIDS. It could also lead to substance abuse. At worse case could become suicidal, and make attempts to take their own life. Homosexual development can at times be too much to handle. More often than I would like admit young people are force to keep these emotions locked inside, and might know of no other way the escape from their pain. The sigma’s and discrimination attached are a big cause in suicidal deaths in the SGL community.

Everyone has their own way of looking at this kind of a relationship, and it may or may not differ from one person to the next.

What is an appropriate age for having a relationship with a kissing son 17, 22, 32?

This is very hard question to answer and again is different for everyone, but I base it on the age of the old man. See if a 45 year old man is having these relations with someone who is half his age might not be wrong. Again it depends! If the 45 year old man is having a relationship someone less than half again might not be wrong. Now if the 45 year man is having relations with someone who is under the legal age of consent that is wrong, and is punishable by the law. A 45 year old who dates someone as young as 25 is acceptable in my opinion.

It has been said many times to me that “age is nothing but a number” Who told you that lie? Age is more than a number; it is point in time that in itself tells where you have been, and how much you have experienced in your life. An older man has had many experiences in his life. Many things not yet discovered by a younger person! Younger people still much to learn, grow, and experience. The older man should never try to take that away from the youth in an attempt to control them.
Who chases who?

Many times it is the younger person who seeks out the comfort of older gentlemen, but it is the older man who makes the decision whether or not to engage in this relationship. In some, but not all cases the older man like the company of younger men, and opens his heart, life, and sometimes even his bed to younger men. They are fresh and not tainted by the world. Curious and seeks answers to many questions not answer by the traditional family unit.

This is where an older man of the same community is vital. The experiences of the older man is looked at by the youth as a tool to learn from, and avoid many of the negative experiences they have heard of, or know of someone who has gone through rough patches. (I have heard of X, Y & Z, and would not want that to happen to me)

As a younger person at one point in my life sought an older man for the reasons listed above. This was essential to my grown and development, and helped me become the man I am today. Somewhere along the line I became the older men I use to date. Now I am sought out by the younger generation and when I ask what is it about older men you are attracted to the answer is always the same. The very same question was asked of me, and again the answer was the same. (Has time come full circle?) I feel for me it was, and I enjoy not only the company of a younger man less than half my age, but enjoy guiding the lives of a younger person in areas where I was not guided by my traditional family, but was by an older gentlemen who has experienced many of the same issues at some point in their own lives.

So if you see this situation, and know there is no intention of exploitation. Take a step back and look at the entire picture. Don’t be so fast to make hasty judgments. Keep in mind that what is best for the young might not be what most would consider traditional values. The most important value is that younger learns to become responsible and productive members of our society. When that younger person is not getting all of what is need to grow in the house hold than he may seek out the guidance of an older person to fill the gap. He may in fact thrive as a result of it.

By BBOP

White Party Moon Light Cruise was Black

On August 1st I attended the White Party Moon Light Cruise on board the Spirit of New York Yacht. The yacht was the high light of this adventure, and I enjoyed being on the Hudson til the wee hours of the morning. I enjoyed the exotic dancers, and the other who preformed. baron, Dy'ari, Alyson William the first female to sign with Death Jam Records. I can't leave out host Tammy Phay who was a great talent, and co host DJ baker from Da Doo Dirty Show who moderated the best dressed in white with hints of silver & gold competition. James Saunders & Laurence Pinckney were the organizers. Laurence was not pleased by the turn out & felt their shout have more people.

Now I am not one to complain or talk badly about events which I promote, but this time I will make an exception. Although this event on the surface had all of the ingredients of a great night it was what went on below the surface that left me feeling flat & confused as to whether I will put so much of my time & energy into another event for them. I think I will, but I must make sure my comp ticket, and all that goes with it is in place before putting it out there, and doing the share thing which I am so well known for.

First off I was treated as a scrub by the attendants who where keeping security at the VIP level. After promoting so hard for this event my passage to this section should have been cleared, or my general admission upgraded. The upgrade would have only amounted to a seat on the upper level, and nothing more. Laurence did grant a special entry band to the VIP section, but it for entry only. I found the VIP ticket only included a gift bag & a seat on the upper level. VIP tickets were $100.00, and came with no open bar. WTF! For that much money 1 would think drinks would be part of the VIP package. Not! Drinks were not cheap either. The buffet was tasty!

I was given a gift bag by one person distributing them but will remain unnamed. Sweet, sexy, blk man with all the right stats. The bag contained a few cute things, but the best item was the CD's of some of the nights performers. I will be looking forward to pumping it on the Pride Cast Show.
www.bbops_world_podcast.podomatic.com.

The Best Dressed Competition was by far the most disappointing part of the adventure. I put a lot of energy & thought into my outfit only to find out winners were predetermined, and that was not kewl. What was the point of have a runway show if you already know who won before the so called competition started. WTF! The judging was nothing short of a joke. It was suppose to be on the audience to choose, but in a minute came up with choices not made by audience. Rather chosen by some obvious blind person, or one's with limited vision, or at best a very poor sense of style. Winners were was older woman which seemed me like a pity win, and the 2 sailor girls, but in my opinion were by no stretch of the imagination was the best dressed. If I saw 1 I saw 100 people on this trip that better dressed. What was it sailor girls & being being on a boat is what constitutes a winner? Would they have won if event was not on a boat? I think not!

Taking pictures was hard due to the fact I had to rely on ole faithful PDA, and not my digit camera. Thanks to Mr/Ms. Socialite breaking it by either not paying attention after taking a picture, and handing it back, or was it sabotage. Hmmmmmmmmm!

With every experience I learn more about people, and what their true intentions are. Sad I am either gullible or just too damning. I always try to see the good in people even after they had done me wrong in the past.

Can't say I did not enjoy myself on some level, but I know my enjoyment could & should have been better. We will see what pops off in the future!

Big ups to all the boyz in attendance, and good to see the regulars as always DJ, EJP, Rashawn, baron is so sexy, Dexter, and any others not mention is a mere oversight.

Happy it is over & now on the next adventure, the next social networking event.

BBOP

The Pride Network Groups

Below the Equator

Public Displays Of Affection

“Let’s Just Kiss and Say Goodbye”

Internalize Homophobia

(R.E.D.) Reversed Erectile Dysfunction

Kissing Sons

White Party Moon Light Cruise was Black

BBOP

Blog Archive