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The Mythology Of Online Dating

On Line dating does not have to be this negative experience we have heard so much about or have experienced. Know what you’re getting into, and know what you want out of the experience.

On the Internet you will not find a shortage a men! From all type there is one that suits your desires. Men of all colors, ethnicity, cultures, and backgrounds. If you can dream you can find it in cyber space.

Profile, Stats & descriptions: (Yours)

· Be honest in profile & make sure it is representative of who you are, what you represent, and what you’re looking for.

· Terms like (No fat No fems) really serve no purpose except to tell a possible interested party you are narrow minded, superficial and shallow. Instead state what you like & want! All will figure out the rest.

Too often people make up characters that is not who they are thinking it will better their chances of finding a date, fly by or relationship. Don’t be ashamed to be honest about your body type! If you’re skinny it’s okay to say so (Go eat a few chicken wings & get over it if it’s an issue). If you thick, chubby, cub or bear make it clear that’s who you are take it leave it. If you comfortable with yourself let them know, but if you are under construction nothing wrong with being open about it.

· If you’re 4 ft or 6 ft, 120 pds or 320 pds no need to add or take away from your true body composition. Allow people to like you for you & as you are!

· Pictures – Should be of you & no one else! They should be up to date & current. A picture of you 10 years ago is deceptive unless stated! Your yearbook picture might be cute but is not what you need to show a possible interested party.

It’s never a good idea to mislead a person by telling them in your profile one thing & in actuality it something else. Allow a person to make up their minds, and don’t be so incline to make it up for them. Anything less than an honest profile will make all the difference in whether you’re accepted or rejected. There is someone out there for everyone.

Profile Stats & description: (His)

· We would like to think that every profile that catches our interest is honest, and the person is representing who he truly is, what he represents, and what he is looking for but the truth might not be written in his profile clearly. (Read between the lines)

· What a person writes in their profile may be a representation of who they want to be & not who they are. (All the glitters is not gold or diamonds)

· They may fudge the physical stats!

· Use picture that are out dated.

(Nothing is real until it materializes!)

· Many gold diggers & hustlers are on the net and are only looking to get in your pockets & not in your hearts. (Be mindful, beware)

· Don’t let the material content of his profile drive you to pursue him. (Great job, big house & expensive car)

· Don’t be fooled by the words in one’s profile! Ask yourself if it live or is it Memorex?

· Some sites give you the choice to disclose HIV status or not! The choices are Poz, Neg or unknown! Don’t be fooled by the way this question is answered I know many who lie or choose to not disclose. (Treat all like they are HIV(+) & wrap it up) This sites never ask participants STI(D) status which is just as important.

Responding to interested parties:

· Some people only want to be entertained on line, and have no intention of getting to really know you, meet you or spend time with you. (Know how to see this behavior & not waste your time)

· You satisfy their boredom but only for a short amount of time

· Some may send you only a smile in a hope that you will take the initiative & make the first true contact (Many find it annoying & pay it no mind)

· One word wonders! These are the person who initiates a conversation with one word. (Hey/Hi/Sup/Etc) when you reply they come with yet another one word. This behavior show a lack of true interest & you should not that them too seriously unless they start giving you actual conversation that consist of sentences instead of one word.

· Responding to profile that have no picture! This can be for many reasons like the person is trying to hind something are or he can’t put his face on a cruising site for professional reasons. If you like the body of the profile & his stats don’t be afraid to start a conversation, and don’t be afraid to ask why he has no picture. He may give you the truth or might be a load of bullshit.

Exchange of digits from first contact:

· An on line communication will only go but so far, and will fade out if the two don’t move to the next level in a timely fashion. Exchanging number & talking by phone is the next step but can be risky. It is the only way to start making the online connection real.

· The telephone communication can carry the two for a good minute as they get to know one another, but eventually that will get played out as well.

· You can do video calls before of after online communication (Skype, ooVoo, YIM, AIM, or Gmail), which is rear, but meeting in person is much more likely.

· When you meet most have very high expectations while others have no expectations at all. No expectations are the way to go! This way you won’t be too disappointed if he is not what he claimed he is from the previous communications.

· When you meet just go with the flow & don’t try to make anything happen! What is the rush? (Things will happen when they do)

· People will say anything to get what they want & that works on both sides. Some say they really want a relationship as it is stated in their profile but in truth they want a jump off/drive by/hook up. Some say they want a hook up/jump off/drive by in their profile & they really want a relationship. (People online can be ass backwards)

· Keep in mind regardless to what is said in the profile the person might just be in the mood for sex while other will be honest & stick to their guns.

War Story: I once met a person on a popular sex/hook up site, and it looked promising. His stats were right on point for what I desired. His profile read Slender, was the ideal age, and a profile picture supporting his stats. The picture was a close up of his face. It was all mis-leading, and designed to deceive. I was interested in meeting this person, and he offered to pay for round trip cab fare, which I took him up on his offer. I paid the cab knowing I would get my money back, rang the bell & felt him coming down the stairs long before he got there. When he reached the landing of his front door I was in a state of shock. I felt I was lied to, and manipulated, but being the person I am I still went upstairs with him to have a drink, and collect my money. He sat on the love seat & I sat on chair opposite to his. As we drank our cocktails I asked him why he feels the need to lie in his profile. He said, “If I told the truth I would never get to meet attractive men like you”. I felt complimented but knew he was blowing smoke up my azz to get what he wants. As we got deeper into the drink & general conversation it happens. I started feeling undressed to the point of nakedness. He asked well since you’re here can we still mess around? No we can’t I balked sighting his lack of honesty as my reason for not wanting to engagement in a sexual situation with him. You should have not taken my choice away & you might have been okay for the hook up, but not now I added. I finished my drink & was out!

Point is if you deceive a person in your profile you affectively ruin your chances of getting with that person unless the person is super horny & desperate. I’m never that!

Where to have first meeting?

· It is always better to meet for the first time in a public place! This gives to more control, and an out if you find the person is not what you’re looking for.

· Meeting at his house is a big risk because you never know what you are walking into.

· Meeting at your place give you more control, but is just as risky

· No matter where you meet I always think a rescue call is a good idea. Have a friend call you to give you an out! If all is good & you are comfortable & feel no threat then tell friend you will get with them later.

War stories: sometimes people (Homophobes) infiltrate gay cruising sites in order to draw us out in the open & give a beat down or even kill us.

· One young man established a online relationship & was asked to meet for a hook up in a parking lot, and when he arrive he was jumped by 4 guys & beaten to death

· Another young man invited a date to his house, and was beaten in the head with a hammer. Perpetrator them lit a candle, blew out the pilot lights, and turn on the gas full blast.

· Another young man went to meet his date, and was jumped, and in the process of being beat ran to get away into on coming traffic, and was struck & killed

· Brothers leaving a club drunk & holding on to one another was perceived to be Gay and was beaten to the point of one brother died from his injuries.

· Openly Gay man walking home from the store at night was jumped & beat to death in front of his building.

Our own people can even attack us and not even porn models are totally safe. Popular Gay porn model was slipped a Mickey, and when he awake he was in a hotel room naked in another states.

Fahylando: I was RAPED, Life Changes, and Modeling

In closing is there such a thing as successful online dating? You be the judge! Anything is possible if the work is put into making it happen on both sides. Just because these are sex or cruising sites does not mean you can’t find the man of your dreams, but instant sexual gratification rains supreme on sites of this nature.

Dating someone you’ve met on the Internet can be a great experience but it can also be the beginning of the end of that connection. The best connections are those in which you have a lot in common with but even if you have much in common does not mean it is a connection made by the Gods.

Remember: Don’t get your hopes up, don’t go in with high expectations, and most important nothing is real until it materializes.